कहिले बल्दो आगो जस्तो, कहिले चिसो पानी
कहिले कस्तो कहिले कस्तो लाग्छ जिन्दगानी
फरक फरक हुने किन सबको आनीबानी
आँशुहाँसो भइराख्ने कस्तो यो कहानी
संघर्ष हो लड्नै पर्छ भन्ने जानी जानी
कस्तो कस्तो किन लाग्छ आफ्नै जिन्दगानी !!
टिकाउ हो या हो क्षणिक फूलको जवानी
कहिले कस्तो कहिले कस्तो लाग्छ जिन्दगानी
Sadhana, try writing without the rhymes. It is more fun. I used to write in rhymes, just like you. But once I started writing without the rhymes, I realized that I could express myself more openly. I suggest you to read one of Bhupi Serchan's poems (no, not the one from our 10th grade textbook, any other ones). You will learn a lot about free-flowing poem writing.Just a suggestion.
ReplyDeletemickthesick ji, thanks a lot for the comment. I know the charisma of Bhupi Serchan's poetries. "साँघुरो गल्लीमा मेरो चोक छ, त्यहाँ के छैन सब थोक छ" is one of my favourites. Except Bhupi's poetries, I do not like other गद्य Poems. Thats why, I never tried to write in that style. I will definitely try to write as per your advice. Thanks, :-)
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ReplyDeletewell.. it's like I knew!
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